News of the weird
LEAD STORY: Steaks from Wagyu cattle in western Australia were already revered by gourmets worldwide (noted for their marbling), but recently an exporter went a step further: The choice grains fed to the cattle are now being soaked in a 2004 cabernet merlot, according to a January dispatch from Sydney in London's Sunday Telegraph. "Our biggest problem is going to be meeting demand," said the managing director of Margaret River Premium Meat Exports, even though the best cuts of steak might run the equivalent of about U.S.$90. Plans are to feed each cow a liter's worth of wine daily during its last 60 days.
Yikes!: Doctors Gone Bad: 1) The British General Dental Council found David Quelch guilty in January of professional misconduct for pulling two teeth of a patient, against her will, without anesthesia, because she had complained about previous treatments. He supposedly said, "That'll teach you ..." 2) However, the patient at Romania's Panduri Urology Hospital was not at fault (according to United Press International, from a January story in Bucharest's Sunday Telegram) when surgeon Naum Ciomu lost his temper at his own sloppiness and chopped off a 36-year-old man's penis. Ciomu later admitted that he had overreacted. Nonetheless, the Romanian doctors' union complained that Ciomu's fine (the equivalent of about $190,000) was unwarranted.
1) Transgendered patient Gina Tilley filed a lawsuit late last year against New York City plastic surgeon David Ostad (who has been cited by state medical authorities 11 times and sued 14 times), complaining that her 2004 saline breast implants had shifted to her armpits. 2) The fire alarm at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, England, sounded one night in December, attributed to a turtle's diet of brussels sprouts. Marine biologist Sarah Leaney of the Centre explained that the turtle's resulting flatulence probably created bubbles that raised the water level enough to trigger the alarm.
News That Sounds Like a Joke: Settling the Gender Wars: German cancer researchers, writing in a January journal article, reported that any exercise helped ward off breast cancer in premenopausal women but that housework-type exercise worked for all women and was superior to job-based or leisure-based exercise.
The Mexican government is scheduled to consider, as early as March, a proposal from its states' migrant-assistance offices to hand out satellite-tracking devices to its citizens who plan to emigrate illegally to the United States, so that they could be located in case of emergency after crossing the border. Skeptics, according to a January report in the San Antonio Express-News, wondered how vigorously the U.S. Border Patrol would assist in rescues.
People Different From Us: 1) The New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services issued a warning in January to residents of the city of Ringwood that they should limit their intake of squirrel to no more than twice a week (children, once a month). (A toxic waste dump is nearby.) 2) Dan Gulley Jr., 70, and David Brooks Jr., 62, fought in January in Atmore, Ala., and according to police, Gulley pulled out a gun and shot Brooks. The two were arguing over how tall the late singer James Brown was.
Recurring Themes: "I was 6 when I first became aware of my desire to lose my legs," wrote "Susan Smith" in London's the Guardian in January. "The image I have of myself has always been one without legs." News of the Weird has reported several times on people with "body identity integrity disorder" (apotemnophilia), which leads them to remove one or more limbs (or men their scrota). The worst part, Smith said, was having to kill her leg, by freezing it in dry ice for at least four hours (she tried twice before it succumbed to an infection), because surgeons cannot ethically amputate a healthy limb.
The Continuing Crisis: Unsavvy: In 2003, Bryn Mawr College student Janet Lee had apparently not watched enough movies or television to understand that drug smugglers often use condoms (swallowed by human "mules") to get cocaine and heroin into the country. Lee attempted to board an airliner with several flour-filled condoms that she said she and her classmates employed to squeeze as stress relievers and said she was astonished to be arrested at the Philadelphia airport and jailed for three weeks until the lab could verify that the substance was flour. In January 2007, the city of Philadelphia agreed to pay her $180,000 to settle her lawsuit for her wrongful detention.
© 2007 CHUCK SHEPHERD
