99 things to do*

Take the Creative Loafing test to find out how well you know your city. Do you rank as a true urban explorer who knows the hip spots that make Atlanta such a dynamic and exciting and even quirky city? If you're a newcomer, what do you need to check out? Go through the list and check our handy scorecard at the end to find your "real Atlantan" quotient.

1 Run into Clark Howard at Costco.

#1

2 Bitch about the big box stores going up in your neighborhood, then proceed to gleefully shop at them once they open and gush about how nice it is to not have to drive to Buckhead.

3 It's not enough to just go to Lenox Square. There's always a celebrity of one sort or another on a shopping spree there. Your job: Find them.

4 Charlie Brown's Cabaret started at the now-torn-down Backstreet, then moved to its own club in Underground Atlanta and is now at WetBar, Thursdays through Saturdays. Check out a night of drag just for the experience of it. The venue may be new, but the lady is still a tramp.

5 Take the CNN Tour and remember the days when CNN was really here.

6 Go see Mudcat at the Northside Tavern. He knows more about folk blues than Martin Scorsese, will happily sing "Up Against the Wall" for you, and can probably drink you under the table to boot.

7 Survive the elevator ride up to the Sundial, then have a drink to celebrate in the spinning restaurant atop the Westin Peachtree Plaza.

#4

8 Sit on I-75/I-85, going in either direction at about 6 p.m. Bang your head on the steering wheel. Repeat, "Why the fuck did I go this way?" as many times as it takes until you move a car length. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

9 Have at least one conversation with someone about Monica Kaufman's hair.

10 Take an annual pilgrimage to the Fox Theatre to watch Gone with the Wind. And you already know to get there early enough for the sing-along with Larry Douglas Embury at helm of "Mighty Mo," the second-largest theater pipe organ in the world.

11 Walk into Cafe Intermezzo with your lover, close your eyes for a moment, and pretend you've been transported to some dark and smoky European coffeehouse for a romantic evening. Order one of the exotic coffees, share a cheesecake, and you're halfway to heaven.

12 Turn down the sound of the Braves game on television so you can listen to Skip and Pete's call on the radio.

13 Everyone should belly-up to the bar at Manuel's Tavern at least once. Go there often enough and maybe your bartender will share the secret behind the $1 bills and playing cards that have been stuck to the ceiling for at least 25 years.

#9

14 Join an ALTA tennis team and get your John McEnroe on.

15 Listen to soul music at Apache Cafe: Artists like India.Arie and Anthony David cut their teeth there -- and like-minded artists continue to thrive and evolve at this celebrated venue.

16 Get stuck behind someone in the exact change lane at a Ga. 400 tollbooth who, oops, doesn't have exact change after all.

17 Mmm, doughnuts. Homer Simpson would bust a nut if he ever saw the Krispy Kreme conveyor belt of doughnuts at the Ponce de Leon Avenue location. The fried beauties chug along the belt for their turn under the glaze fountain. Mmm, glaze fountain.

#20

18 Spend a Saturday afternoon perusing Ektorp sofas and Borghamn storage systems at IKEA -- then, if it's the second Saturday of the month, take a break from Swedish-inspired homogeny and head down I-75/I-85 to the sprawling Lakewood Antiques Market. You're sure to find a deal there, too.

19 Deep-throat a jalapeño corndog at Corndogorama. The Earl's four-day, see-and-be-seen indie-rock festival offers ample opportunities for double entendres. If that bores you, get drunk on Miller High Life and swoon to dozens of Atlanta's finest bands.

20 Spend the night in the wilds of Zoo Atlanta with all the lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

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