Karma Cleanser:
My company is a tiny print shop specializing in T-shirts, bumper stickers and such. Most of our business comes from sororities and fraternities at a nearby college campus. It's boring, but it pays the bills.
After the events of Sept. 11, my business partner and I came up with an idea to promote patriotism, and also make a little dough on the side. We printed up a huge batch of American flag T-shirts, and anti-bin Laden bumper stickers. The things are selling like crazy, especially among the rednecks. We've never had a better month than September. Problem is, my wife claims that we are capitalizing on a national tragedy and should be ashamed of ourselves. I say, in these troubled times, a buck is a buck. Am I risking bad karma by ignoring her protests?

-- Let Freedom Ka-ching

The Karma Cleanser suspects that your claim about promoting patriotism is a thinly veiled effort to rationalize your racket. However, milking the rednecks in a time of national crisis is the American way, we suppose. Why not donate a portion of your proceeds to a good cause?

Karma Cleanser:
I voted for George W. and I'm proud of it. My brother, a lefty since birth apparently, voted for Gore and now says that none of the current bullshit would be going on had the election gone differently. I say he's a damn fool, that 911 was coming one way or another, and we're lucky to have a Republican in office to show the world who's boss.
This discussion came up at the dinner table at our mother's house the other night, and things got a little heated. Since we've had this argument, my brother refuses to speak to me. Back me up here.

-- God Bless America

Thanks, GBA, for that enlightening insight into the nuances of American foreign policy. However, we're in the business of weighing ethical dilemmas here, not lending credibility to half-witted, pointless domestic disputes. We pity your poor mother for inviting either of you to dinner.

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to karma@creativeloafing.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.