TODAY’S CREATIVE LOVING PROFILE
www.geocities.com/maryromantic/.
Mary says she's gentle but I think she's a barracuda. Mary has nearly 20 pages of requirements that are very specific about getting to know her. "Please don't take a long time to word a question, and please don't preface a question with a statement. Instead, please be as brief and direct as possible in asking your questions. No matter how succinct I may be in answering any of your questions, I want you to feel free to pursue a line of questioning until you're as satisfied as you need to be in order to decide whether or not you want to meet me." This is just an example. She's a loon. In your initial e-mail to her, she has 'signal' words that you must include in her e-mail to let her know you've read her articles. When she meets you, she'll expect a gift. This gift, if you read between the not-so-subtle hints should be money. Did I say she was a loon? Please use this page for entertainment value only.
Redneck vampire
"From the information obtained in this documentary, it seems that Michael Ray has spent most of his life in Ft. Leeds but has also lived in Axon and Tifton, Ga., and Dothan, Ala., where he also lived as a vampire. Michael Ray claims to have lived in Ft. Leeds for the past 65 years. A claim that is not disputed or validated by the people of Ft. Leeds. Throughout the six weeks we documented Michael Ray, we came up with no conclusive evidence to prove that he was or wasn't a vampire. He spent most of his time playing lotto, drinking beer and 'huffing' at the Ft. Leeds Yes Pump Gas. He has what appears to be fangs like a vampire, he claims to drink blood, but his most outrageous claim is of his immortality.
www.redneckvampire.com.
The other red meat
Hungry for more? You'll eat the contents of
www.manbeef.com
right up. "For the last 19 years ManBeef has been the world's leading human meat distributor. We have established a reputation for having only the highest quality human meat products and dedicated customer service representatives. Because we only cater to a select group of people, we try to keep a close relationship with all of our customers. The allows us to help you get the best quality human meat for your budget, and ship it right to your front door. And after 19 years of business, you can now access our products and services online!" Even weirder are the hundreds of recipes using ManBeef and the information about the care and handling of all this human meat. No, this is not a porno site, it is a humor site, though most days it's hard to tell the difference.
Putting the 'fun' in dance fundamentals
For 30 seconds of hilarity, please go to www.raketik.com/workshop2/workshop.html.
I'm not really sure why this is as I'm unable to find any corresponding links. Here's this guy, and he's doing this one dance move -- over and over again -- for your in-home enjoyment. I fail to understand how this is a workshop of any kind. Oh, those wacky Germans. And if you miss Dieter from Sprockets, spend some time here at www.gawth.com/~desolate/ sprockets.html.
Get your kicks
Were you aware that there is a machine that will kick your ass? Well of course there is. It's the World's Only Ass Kicking Machine and you can find out all about it at
www.fred.net/turtle/asskicker/asskicker.html.
"The World's Only Ass-Kicking Machine is located in Wirtz, Va., about 25 miles southeast of Roanoke, and about 25 miles south of Bedford. It is just west of Smith Mountain Lake and about 20 miles northwest of Martinsville. ... The design is simple and rugged. A 6-foot waterwheel is cut from thick plywood and equipped with vanes that are driven by a stream of water falling from above. The water is contained in an underground tank and driven by a 110v submersible electric pump up to a water valve and sluice, thus, this is an 'overshot wheel' type ass-kicker."
Car PAI Diem
It's rare for me to find an organization that I can support 100 percent. Usually there's something about the movement I can't agree with, some basis for an all-out argument and that's when the yelling starts. But when I happened upon this Web page, I decided to send them all my charity donation allocation because this is a cause I can support -- the complete and total paving of France! Yes, I've visited and was underwhelmed. Just save the museums and pave the rest!
"Welcome to the web site for the Parisian Asphalt Initiative (PAI), currently located in Ann Arbor, Mich. The Parisian Asphalt Initiative is a nonprofit organization dedicated to raising the money to completely pave the nation of France with blacktop, increasing Europe's parking a thousandfold, encourage the proliferation of American cars, and provide adequate parking space for Euro Disney. We are committed to the elimination of European clown cars world round."
www.pave-france.org
